Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
