So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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