so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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