We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
