You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
