Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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