oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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