You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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