I would go down on you faster than GM stock
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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