i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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