I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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