yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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