woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
