she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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