I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
