she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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