My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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