It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
