how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
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