And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
