Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
