TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
