Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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