my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I showed him my bush... on skype.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
