I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
