you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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