she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Boobs are out for the taking
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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