i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
