Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
