Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
