Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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