Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
