We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
