I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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