"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
