ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
