he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
