there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
