the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
