My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
