I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
the liver wants what the liver wants
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
