So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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