Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
