I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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