I wanna bring you to show and tell
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Randomize
