I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
