hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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