I got chris browned last night
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
