She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
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