I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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