But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
